Tao Feng: Fist of the Lotus has all the makings for a great fighting game.  The graphics are solid, the animation is fluid (especially for Iron Monk), there's the token hot chick or two (Jade Dragon and Divinity come to mind), you can actually injure your opponent and the storyline seems like it could be decent, if only I could get past the first couple of rounds of fighting.  I suppose that the really frustrating thing is that I was playing the easiest level. 

    A disclaimer, if you will: Thus far, my adventures into the realm of the Xbox have been me getting fragged repeatedly by Roastbeef in Halo, crashing expensive cars in Project Gotham Racing and leering at the female characters in Dead or Alive 3 (and I haven't played the volleyball version yet, dammit).  I am by no means a hardcore gamer.  The last time I played any sort of games on a regular basis was in the days of the Super Nintendo, so quite a lot has passed me by.  I've dabbled in stuff now and again, but for the most part it's been RPGs or hack'n'slash action stuff like Diablo.  In short, when it comes to fighting games, I'm a button masher.

    Which is EXACTLY what you cannot be when trying to play Tao Feng.  The button sequences for the combos need to be ultra precise, or you wind up not pulling it off.  So I spent a good portion of two days getting the bejeezus out of me by the computer.  Thankfully, my button mashing technique was able to keep the 'beef at bay for a while, but then even he started beating the crap out of me.  So all in all, I'd be hard pressed to say I had a pleasurable time playing Tao Feng.

    But that's not the way it shoulda been!  If you set the game on its easiest level, any sort of yutz should be able to pick up a controller and have a decent time with it.  Maybe they won't beat it on their first try, but they should be able to get up to the main guy without too many restarts.  Unfortunately, the folks at Studio Gigante must have geared this game to the die-hard fighting enthusiasts who still have the original combos memorized from Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter.  Roastbeef was telling me that he read a review of the game (we were trying to find *some* way to make it easier on us) that said, in essence, don't bother going past the mid-point marker in difficulty if you want to be able to stand a chance.  Just for a lark, I decided to put it up on the highest level and played a match.  Sweet God...I didn't even land ONE punch or kick.  Not one!  The CPU character laid down the law in a manner I have never seen in a fighting game before.  It wasn't even fun to watch.

    All that said, this really is a pretty well thought-out game.  As fighters battle it out, they can actually get injured from either blocking too much or getting thrown through things.  Therefore if their arms get hurt, punches do less damage.  Same goes for legs and kicks.  That's pretty cool!  However, once you get one part of you hurt, you can't get another part hurt, nor can they get all kinds of broken as is implied by the ultra-cool commercial.  And despite your "Limb Damage," as the game calls is, you won't find any adverse effects to your movement, jumping ability, blocking or whatever.  Apparently, you only use your limbs for striking.  Whatever.

    The graphics are pretty incredible for Tao Feng.  The characters are very detailed, right down to tattoos and thong undies.  I also enjoyed how your characters start to look pretty ragged after they've gotten thrown around a bit (something I witnessed a lot of).  Clothes get dirty and torn, bruises and cuts show up and the whole nine.  The movements are very fluid and, for the most part, believable.  There are a couple of spinning-mid-air punches by the Fatalist and a gravity-defying bicycle kick from Master Sage, but other than that, the characters aren't doing anything too superhuman.  Except for the chi attacks, but that's what you should expect from something whose basis is "fighting energy."

    Last of the good stuff are the taunts.  Some are sexy (like Geist slapping her ass or Jade Dragon pouting, "Can't you play any harder?"), some are forgettable (Iron Monk's "Your fighting style is weak" ...or something like that, I can't remember) and some are downright HEEEElarious.  The two that kept me and 'beef in stitches were Fiery "I look just like Scott Stapp!" Phoenix's "Feel the heat!" (which, with all credit to Bill Simmons, scores a perfect 100 on the Unintentional Comedy Rating scale), and Master Sage passing gas and saying, "Whoo!  Smell the spirit within!!"  The taunts were probably the only thing that kept us from throwing our controllers across the room, breaking the game in half and lighting the Xbox on fire.

    Overall, if you're a fan of the fighting genre of games, I'm sure you'll fare better than I did with Tao Feng.  It has a lot of potential to be fun, but it's not for beginners unless you plan on just doing vs. battles with your friends.  And with only 12 playable characters, even that gets old after a while.  The attention to detail is there, and for that Studio Gigante should be applauded.  But guys, you gotta remember that folks play more than just fighting games!  I'll check out Tao Feng 2 when it comes out and see whether or not you figured that out.  In the meantime...I'll stick with Neverwinter Nights.

Rating: Waste of Time out of 10