Hell's Kitchen

09-08-08

For those of you out there who keep imploring me to be on Hell's Kitchen with Chef Gordon...I've been there. It was the working environment of Quinn's, a locker-room atmosphere on the basest level, which included a "bounty" of $150 for anyone that scalped me of my ponytail. Songs about aborted babies, gaping anal sex, eating poop and other such winning subjects were not only commonplace, they were sung daily, repeatedly...by EVERYONE. Some of the extremely few words our Hispanic dishers knew were "ass to mouth." Oh, and the head chef would watch "Two Girls, One Cup" on his cell phone at least once a shift. Fun.

It was too much for me. Between the juvenile "jokes" and all of the other cooks menacingly sharpening their knives mere inches from my head (no doubt trying to claim the "bounty," which may or may not have been paid), I decided enough was enough and quit there last Wednesday. It's one thing to expect a cook to work an hour or two off the clock every day, but it's another thing to encourage an atmosphere of fear and brutal competition between linemates to see who rises to the top. As I mentioned to the folks who received the email, if that's what it takes to be a top chef in the country, then I want NOTHING to do with it.

Kitchens are not battlegrounds. They're not contests amongst peers. They're places where food come from; the more delicious, the better. You teach each other for the common goal of serving perfectly delicious food. You don't compete against each other for the goal of "winning." There's nothing to win. You're not entertaining people...you're feeding them.

And that was the huge obstacle I ran into (at full speed) at Quinn's. They wanted to make food that no one else could make. They wanted the cooks to beat each other down (psychologically) to see who could lead the next wave of culinary creation. I'm not like that. I just want to make really great food that everyone can enjoy. I don't mind taking a stroll down an imaginative lane every so often (like my BLT dessert), but the main goal for me is to make sure the guest goes home full and happy. I dun care if they blog about the ingredients, preparation or innovativeness of what I serve them. I suppose freshness of ingredients is important, and the proper cooking time for veg and protein is pretty crucial, but I really, really don't care if I entertained them. If someone walks up to me and says, "Chef, that was REALLY awesome" then I'm happy.

And with that, I'll leave you to your own devices for a bit. I'll be back later.